Oh, how I love being a fangirl.

Today, the 28th November 2025, the MAMA awards was held in Hong Kong – and watching ENHYPEN win the daesang hit much harder than I expected.

It brings me joy to see people win awards because I believe everyone has something to celebrate; the happiness on their faces, the disbelief, the gratitude — it’s such a pure type of moment. There’s something so comforting about seeing people finally receive what they’ve been working towards.

The voting for the VISA Fan’s Choice Award was held from 30th October to 10th November 2025. From then, I made it my mission to vote every day for my ult group – and so did many other ENGENEs. The voting worked so that you could vote once per device, so I even went ahead and asked my family and friends to vote. I may have made promises I did not intend on keeping at all, like owing them a meal if ENHYPEN won… but I’m sure they’ve forgotten about that! When it came to the final vote, I ended up talking to people in my uni who I didn’t speak to regularly just so they could vote — and bless their hearts, they actually did. They were hesitant though, may I add: “Your group better win after this.”

So, today from 10:30 AM, I was watching the awards live, unable to take my eyes off it. Wherever I went, my phone was in front of me — there was no way I was missing any of it. The live vote was announced shortly after and ended within an hour. After a good three hours, it was finally time for the VISA Fan’s Choice Award winner to be announced. I held my breath; it’s almost as if time stood still for a moment. There had been known misconduct with the voting, such as people cloning accounts, so towards the end of the vote ENHYPEN wasn’t placed as number 1. There really was no way of knowing if they were going to win.

I had waited so long for this moment. As soon as the host said “ENHYPEN,” I cheered as if it was my own win. Seeing them get what they dreamed of achieving in 2025 warmed my heart so much. Yang Jungwon — the leader of the group — of course began his speech with, “ENGENE!!!” Bless his heart, he broke into tears after that, and so did all of us who were rooting for them. It was such an emotionally intense moment, even more so for them.

Moreover, they promised their fans they would publish their Chamber 5 (Dream of Dreams) dance practice, and they did – marking 5 years since the original!

This moment made me realise that I am not ashamed of being in fandoms, because this feeling can’t be matched by anything else. Rewatching them being announced as the winners reminds me of the adrenaline I felt, and it was great. I will never grow out of this behaviour, and I am forever thankful I was born with the fangirl gene.

You can watch the announcement of the VISA fan’s choice award here.

When did entertainment become so stressful? – Squid Game

— This article will contain Squid Game spoilers —

Squid Game is a South Korean dystopian survival thriller horror television series created, written and directed by Hwang Dong-hyuk for Netflix. The series revolves around a secret contest where 456 players, all of whom are in deep financial hardship, risk their lives to play a series of children’s games that have been turned deadly for the chance to win a ₩45.6 billion (US$39.86 million) prize.

INTRO

Before I begin to yap, I am not trying to kill the fun of the show, I thoroughly enjoyed the show, but that doesn’t erase how stressful it is – I was quite literally gripping sofa during Season 3 Episode 4’s game. From the very first season, we are not eased into the horrors it displays, we are flung into high-stakes of violence, with bright colours and eerie music. When did our idea of entertainment become so anxiety-inducing?

DATA ANALYSIS + ANECDOTE WITHIN

Squid Game didn’t just just torment its characters, also the viewers; according to ScreenRant, the second season of the show garnered 68 million views in the first three days and became number one in every country on Netflix! That is insane – we all know good shows but for them to excel everywhere?? What’s crazy is that it isn’t a lighthearted fun show – people were tuning in to feel tension.

A study by Mathias Clasen and Marc Andersen involved running several experiments in a haunted-house setting in Denmark which they called “Dystopia”. They hooked heart rate monitors to the participants and recorded how scared they felt and how much enjoyment they felt throughout. They found the participants’ results to have an upside-down U-shape; if participants weren’t scared at all, it wasn’t fun, but if they were too scared the enjoyment level dropped. Andersen worded it as “It is as if humans dislike being very far from their normal physical state but we seem to like being out of our comfort zone,”. This makes sense when applying it to Squid Game; we do not want real physical harm but we enjoy the thrill – the feeling of being off-balance.

The last game in Season 3 Episode 4, let’s be so for real, we all KNEW that Jun-hee was going to die before she even got eliminated, so why were most of us bawling? Even after that you continued to watch it at “torture” yourself, when you KNEW it was going to be emotionally scarring. ACTUALLY NOT EVEN THAT – WAS SEASON ONE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?! God bless my girl Sae-Byeok, Ji-yeong and Ali 😔- literally became ill from the amount of tears that were shed.

Anyway, so you’re not insane for finding joy in these types of shows !

#ileftthisforagessohavelostmyflowimsorryloveyoux

What is authenticity nowadays?

INTRO

Authenticity = The quality of being real or true.

But what the freak even is authenticity now? Is it being unfiltered or vulnerable? Or is it just another brand aesthetic we’ve adopted through the use of social media? BeReals, monthly photo dumps on Instagram, close friends stories with people that aren’t your actual close friends – these are made to feel like we’re showing our “real”. You missed the two-minute BeReal timer? That’s fine, I know you’re going to stage it later, make sure the books are piled neatly, pens angled correctly, like “oops missed the timer because I was revising” – babes I know you were scrolling on TikTok and just took them books out, don’t even. Like we’re low-key performing relatability now; oh you got a matcha latte? Wow you’re so cute and on-trend – YOU DON’T EVEN LIKE MATCHA!!!!

DATA ANALYSIS

I found a few resources online relevant to my area of interest.

One is a study by Chou et al. (2023), she looks into social media platforms such as YouTube and TikTok are central to our entertainment and even as a source of news to young people. The study also talks about how these platforms encourage people to become content creators. I found this relatable because I see normal people, such as my friends, build their own communities by consistently posting aesthetic/ relatable content that people love to see. It’s as if they’re creating their own brand without needing anything “official”.

Another study by Audrezet et al. (2020), explores how social media influencers try to stay “real” in their content. People value genuineness on social media, especially in a space where we’re constantly told not to believe everything we see. But when that little “paid partnership” or “content collaboration” tag appears on a TikTok, you might instantly assume the influencer isn’t being as genuine as they seem — and that they’re just in it for the money, which, when you think about it, might be the main goal after all.

A third study I found explores the psychological effects of social media and influencing by Duffy and Hund (2015); they look at how becoming a content creator often comes with pressure to behave a certain way e.g. always have positive content or content on a specific topic like for a certain fanbase – if they are to deviate from their initial content, will they get the same feedback? If the likes on the post happen to be low, it could take a toll on them and they may think of themselves as boring, when it’s really just the algorithm not adjusted to this new content.

ANECDOTE

Before I continue, I am not bashing anyone, I am quite literally the same. I am an offender to consumerism the way I will literally buy anything that is relevant at the time just to feel included – that’s not very authentic of me, is it? Heck, I was about to buy a Labubu doll because everyone had one, even though I didn’t see the need for it at all, and was not in a place to be spending any more money on miscellaneous items. I even posted this on my Instagram story:

Multiple people even liked this story, which could potentially mean they agree with me/ had a similar idea. So, what even is authenticity online? Maybe we are posting just to be seen – even if that means posting what we think we want others to see, me included!

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